Question: are people capable of being in platonic relationships with their former lover(s)?
Relationships fall apart, yes, that's not exactly an unprecedented concept. However, the post-breakup territory that not a lot of people bother to venture into, aka the agonizing transition from being the loves of each other's lives into a mere secondary character in their future chapters--- not everyone walks out of it bruiseless.
People say if you can still find it in you to remain friends with someone you were once in love with, it could mean that love was never there in the first place. But, how provable is this theory? We've asked a couple of Malaysians who have recently gone through heartbreaks (yes, we've checked), "Is it okay to still be friends with your ex-partner?" and these are their intriguing answers:
"Personally speaking, I wouldn't. But that's probably owing to the fact that my exes are pieces of poop."
"I try to be on good terms with my ex, but to be in a functioning friendship with them? Don't think that's a good idea, at least for me. Probably because deep down I know it'd hurt me to know too much about her, knowing I was once an active participant in her life, and to be reduced to a sideline character, stings a little bit. So I just resort to sending her funny memes once every few weeks and call it a day."
"I'm sure it's possible some are even healthy, but I'd rather not. It's bound to be complicated and unless your future partner is okay with you still being friends with your ex, it's still a dangerous territory full of drama that I'd rather save myself from."
"Well, in my case, it is necessary that I maintain a good relationship with my ex-wife for the sake of our children. Just because we separated, our children shouldn't be deprived of the luxury of having both functional parents. I guess it's easier to establish if there are other parties depending on your relationship to be on good terms."
Fadhli M, 29:
“I think it comes down to how mature both parties are. If you can completely accept that some relationships aren't meant to last and just because they end, doesn't mean resentment should follow suit. Even though things with my ex didn't work out, I take pride in the fact that we can still maintain a healthy friendship. I sometimes hang out with her current boyfriend together, and my current girlfriend gets along well with her. I guess in mature relationships, petty issues don't exist."
"I've witnessed some messy breakups among my friends and even when they've tried to be friends after, all of them eventually realized it wasn't going to work. Personally, for me, I'd want my ex to be happy, yes, but I'd rather not be around when that happens."
Based on the answers we've collected, it is safe to conclude that at the end of the day, it depends on one's relationship dynamics. Some are meant to crash and burn, never to be resurrected, while some find ways to flourish long after the sparks turned to embers.
What about you? Would you be friends with your ex? Spill the tea with us in the comment section!