We all seem to be really good at looking more at the bad things in life. For example, when a person keeps helping us with our problems, we don’t really notice that, but for the one time they needed our help, we categorized that person in a negative way. However, this can totally be changed. All you need is a little change in your thoughts and how you behave, and then you will feel a difference in yourself mentally and even physically.

1, Reduce time spent on social media daily.

一，减少一天内社交媒体的时间。

Social media is an evil tool that brings us more harm than benefit. They bring our self-esteem down, and they make us shallower than we were. Like when we scroll through social media and see how others living a great life with a bunch of attractive friends, we would get more depressed thinking how different our lives are, or we ended up being people who crave attention when we post things about ourselves. Try to reduce the amount of time you spend on it every day, set a time limit, and you will feel different as a person.

2, Lower your expectations.

二，降低你对事情的期望。

Another factor contributing to our negativities would be our high expectations on things around us. We always expect things that seems unrealistic, which we still believe in despite knowing they are probably unachievable, such as wanting our partners to be intelligent, attractive, rich and so on, or expecting our friends to be understanding and accommodating all the time, or even expecting too much out of our jobs. Instead of trying to come up with huge expectations, why not look at things on a smaller scale and set expectations that are actually realistic.

3, Get away from people who bring you down.

三，远离让你觉得低落的人。

As we all work or study with the same group of people, it can be difficult sometimes to choose who we want to be around with. But, if possible, try to be around the right kind of people. Don’t hang around certain people because they are rich or they are funny. Look at what kind of people they really are. If the kind of people around you make you feel worse than you were before, then it is a sign to get away from them.

4, Avoid gossiping about others.

四，不要说别人闲话。

To shallow people, gossiping seems like a great activity to do as when they bring others down, they feel like they are lifting themselves up. However, the truth is that gossiping about others doesn’t define who they are, but instead, it defines who you are. Make it a habit to not gossip about others, and by that, you can start by looking at the good things people did instead of the bad things. When others achieved something, congratulate them. When they failed, give them motivation. Never try to make someone feel worse about themselves. It wouldn’t make you feel any better.

5, Don’t get influenced by others.

五，不要被别人影响。

It seems to be easy to follow what others are doing so we wouldn’t look like the weird one out. We ended up becoming a copy of other people, doing what others do, saying what others say, wear what others are wearing. If you want to eliminate negativity in your life, take the first step by standing up for yourself. Do things for yourself, not just to please others. If people respect you for who you are, appreciate that. If they don’t, you know where you stand.

6, Don’t focus on what others think.

六，不要专注在别人对你的想法。

We are all afraid of not getting accepted by the society for who we are, making us behave in a certain way that others want to see in us. But to be honest, what is the point of life when you live for others? Take your own ground and don’t care what others have to say about you. Do whatever you want, as long as it makes you happy. Either way, people are still going to talk about it, so why bother?

7, Do things for yourself, not others.

七，为你自己做事，不是别人。

People will expect you to do things for them, and when you did they will always be unsatisfied with the results. In the end, they get their job done and you get all the blame for not doing a great job, isn’t that just unfair? So unless the person who is asking help from you is something you know would appreciate your help, or else do not even bother helping them. Don’t waste your time doing things for people who don’t appreciate your help, make full use of your own time for yourself.

8, Take time off your work.

八，在工作时给自己一些休息时间。

Spending too much time in work can let you complete your things faster, but it can also make you more stressed out. Plus, studies have shown that if you remain in your studies or work for over a long period of time, your productivity will decrease and your brain will slow down in your tasks. Taking just a short time off from your work will help make you clear up your mind and give your brain some time to get rid of any negativity and refresh your mind for good.

9, Meditate.

九，沉思。

Meditation is known to have a lot of health benefits. People who meditate every day is shown to be more uplifting about life and more positive as a person. The quiet time to clear and refresh your mind is very important as it gives you time to reflect and think about your life, and they are especially great for people who suffer from anxiety, depression, or any mental health that can affect one’s life. 

10, Keep a gratitude journal.

十，收一本谢意笔记。

We all seem to be very forgetful especially when it comes to appreciating the good things in life. We tend to outweigh the bad things over the good things that happen to us, making it seem like our life is all miserable and saddening. Try a new habit of keeping a gratitude journal, and record things you are grateful. You don’t necessarily have to do it every day, but choose a few days in a week to record things or people you are grateful for and made you smile that day. Try reading it when you are feeling down, and you will definitely feel much better about yourself.

It is impossible to live a life that is full of positivity. Life is all about balance as well. You have days when you’re feeling down, and there are certainly days where you feel happy and positive. To minimize negativity isn’t all about living a happy life forever anyway, but rather knowing how to deal with life when things don’t seem to go well. Knowing how to eliminate negativities in your life would definitely make you a happier and more successful person.

“But I don’t want small talk. Text me, and without saying hello, tell me why you got so angry at your sister this morning. Tell me why you have a scar shaped like Europe on the left side of your neck. Send me paragraphs about the time you spent at your grandmother’s house that one summer. Call me when I’m half asleep and tell me why you believe in God. Tell me about the first time you saw your dad cry. Go on for hours about things that may not seem important because I promise that I’ll be hanging on to every word you say. Tell me everything. I don’t want someone who just talks about the weather.”