As a child, you always tell your parents that you'll take care of them when they are old but when the time comes you have to take a lot of things into consideration and it can be a hard decision. Sometimes you even have to consider sending them to an old folks' home where they can get proper care and attention. 

To help make your decision a little clearer, here are some of the pros and cons of having a parent live with you vs sending them to a nursing home:

Nursing Home

Pros:

+ Full-Time Care

For parents with medical issues that require around the clock care, nursing homes are able to provide that. If you don't have the time to do so then instead of neglecting their health care, it is better to snd them to a place where they can get proper care from a professional. Even if your parent has an emergency in the middle of the night, there will be nurses who will be able to treat them instantly. It can be very reassuring and comforting knowing that your parent is being properly taken care of throughout the day. 

+ Properly Structured Schedule

As elderly parents get older, it is easier for them to function with a properly structured schedule. When moving in with you, it is difficult to have a proper schedule because you have other responsibilities and tasks to see to that may get in the way of sticking to a schedule. So, sending them to a nursing home will be able to provide them with a structured, scheduled life, with food, social activities and other activities scheduled at different times which is good for their health.

+ Socialization

Every human being, young or old needs to have a social life, even your parents. So sending them to a nursing home will allow them to meet with other elderly people, form a connection with them and build a friendship together. They get to spend time together, be active together and be a part of a community. Nursing homes will also have social activities in which your parents can participate with their friends and have a good time together. This will make them feel less lonely and bored which is good for their mental health. 

Cons:

+ Cost

Let's be honest, nursing homes aren't cheap! In Malaysia, the cheapest nursing home you can get is RM2500 which has only the basic amenities. Since you're sending them to live in a nursing home because of the 24/7 care and the facilities, you're going to have to spend extra to find a place that provides them with good quality care and great facilities for your loved ones. So you're going to have to fork out around RM3500 extra a month which is a huge amount! 

+ Lack of Freedom

When living on their own, our elderly parents had the freedom to do whatever they want whenever they want. They weren't controlled by anyone and may have gotten used to that lifestyle. So, going to a new place where their movements are controlled and they aren't given that much freedom can take a toll on their mental health. Eventually, they will get used to it but it takes time and there will be some hard times when you will be there to support them. 

+ Risk of Poor Quality Care

While nursing homes promise the best quality care from professionals, you can never know for sure if they are true to their word. There have been many horror stories about nursing homes where residents were neglected, abused and even mistreated. That is why you should always try and ask around and get proper information about the nursing home before paying a ton of money and sending your beloved parents to one. 

Living With Elderly Parent

Pros:

+ Save Money

While you might be thinking that having an elderly parent move in is costly, it is actually much cheaper than sending them to an old folks' home. You won't have to pay for their accommodation whether it's at an old folks home or even at their own home or in-home care at their own home. You just have to spend a little more on things they need which is lesser than spending a ton on a place for them to stay. 

+ Spending Quality Family Time

When it comes to elderly parents, you can't know for sure how much time you have left with them so take all the time you can get. Since we've grown up and started getting busier, we don't really have that much time with them so moving them in with you will allow you to maximise the time you and your children get to spend with them. You get to connect with them on a daily basis and you can show your children a good example of the importance of taking care of family.

+ Ensured Quality Healthcare

When medical care is needed, it is better for a loved one to be the one administering it. Not only will it make the elderly person more cooperative but it also can be comforting knowing that you know everything that is going on with your parent medically. You don't have to worry about the quality of care your elderly parent is getting. Besides, we all know that finding quality care can be very difficult nowadays. 

Cons:

+ Increased Responsibility

Taking in your elderly parent will not only increase your responsibilities but also increase your stress. They'll be needing extra care and you'll have more financial responsibilities like food, transportation, personal hygiene items, household goods,  prescription medicines and other medical expenses. You'll also need to make sure you have enough time for work, giving your children and partner the attention they need, house chores and also taking care of your parent, which is a lot to do with very little time. 

+ Inability To Provide Required Care

With all the other responsibilities you have, sometimes you need to face the reality that you can't give your parents proper care. The worst thing to do is take them in and not give them the care that they need, especially if they have a lot of medical needs. The older they get the more they will depend on you and if you don't have the ability to take care of them instead of neglecting them which could worsen their condition, look for other solutions. 

+ Home Safety Modifications

If you have parents with physical disabilities or are prone to falling or have poor vision, then you will have to make changes to your home to ensure they are safe when living with you. You may have to modify your bathroom, install wheelchair ramps, add handrails to staircases and more. All these modifications aren't free and they are going to cost you a lot of money. 

+ Loss of Privacy

Bringing an elderly parent into your home to live with you can affect your lifestyle too which can put a strain on your relationship with your partner and your children. If you have gotten used to some family routines you will have to find a way to include your parent which may be a little out of place at first but your family will slowly get used to it. Be sure to set boundaries and be honest with each other about privacy and space. 

What do you think? Would you rather send your parent to an old folks' home or take care of them in your own home? Share your thoughts in the comments section!