Ugh, breakups! Just the thought of going through a rough and horrible breakup makes your palms sweaty and your chest heavy. Everyone's been through a hard breakup and it is never pretty. There are a lot of emotions that you go through and most of the time, it takes months, or even years to get over.
Being the one who wants to call it quits on the relationship can be as hard as being the other person on the receiving end. You may not want to hurt the other person but you understand that no matter what you do you are going to end up hurting them, and that's not a good feeling to live with.
But, there's a right way and a wrong way to break up with someone. Both ways will leave the other person hurt but the right way is the more graceful and respectful way that will cause as little hurt as possible.
So here's how to break up with someone the amicable way:
1. Do it in person, not over text or a phone call
Don't be the kind of person who is too afraid to face the other person that you end up breaking up with over text or phone call. Show them you respect them and do it face to face. If possible, try and avoid any public spots because when you're in a public space surrounded by strangers, you and your partner won't be able to express your emotions freely and might harbour some unresolved issues or feelings towards you which could end badly.
2. Be honest but not brutal
Instead of pointing out all their flaws, listing down everything you dislike about them, focusing only on what they're doing wrong and turning the whole situation into a blaming game, be direct and clear about what you want. Explain to them as vaguely as possible why you want to break up with them without going into too much detail or giving any excuses or reasons why you feel that way.
3. Remember to BE KIND
Breakups involve a lot of feelings and emotions, so remember to steer away from directing any negative words towards the other person. Don't use this situation to show the other person how much you hate them but instead try and show them that you care for them in spite of everything but you don't want to be with them romantically.
4. Skip all the cliche lines
"It's not you, it's me," is the worst possible thing you could say when breaking up with another person. We all know the cliche breakup lines and we don't want to hear it! It just shows you barely put any thought into your break up script and just decided to use a recycled line.
5. Do not give them any hope or false promises
Once you've decided to break up, stand firm on your decision and don't let anything the other person try to change your mind. Don't even make them think that they stand a chance, be clear that it is really done. Don't say "we will see what happens in the future" or "If we were meant to be then we might find our way back to each other".
6. Give them space
After the breakup, you might think that the next kind step would be to message them or get in touch with them to check on them. Don't do that, it is a bad idea! After the breakup, respectfully cut all contact with them for a short period of time. The more you talk after the breakup the more you risk getting back together or pulling the pin on an emotional grenade that could explode in your face.
7. Allow yourself and the other person to heal
If you're feeling sad or angry or upset about the breakup, don't try to distract yourself from your emotions. In this case, negative emotions are healthy. But, don't start blaming yourself or the other person or anyone else for what happened. Learn from whatever went wrong in your relationship and how you could have been a better partner. Learn from the mistakes and move on.
Any other suggestions? leave your thoughts in the comments section!
