In a recent Twitter thread sparked by @chairmanGLC, Malaysian netizens engaged in a candid discussion about how they navigate the division of monthly commitments with their partners. From shared responsibilities to evolving financial roles, these heartfelt responses shed light on the various approaches couples adopt to ensure fairness and harmony in their relationships.
Masa mula kahwin, we share our commitments. Then I take over everything slowly. For me as the breadwinner, what's fair is I pay for everything and my wife only uses her salary for her own stuffs. pic.twitter.com/N40xqtJrsl— Abah (@chairmanGLC) August 27, 2023
@HarirZharfan19's Milestone Approach: Transitioning from 50-50 to 100-0
One popular approach highlighted by @HarirZharfan19 involves a phased transition. Couples start by sharing expenses equally, and then one partner gradually takes on more financial responsibilities over time. The ultimate goal is to provide security for both partners and their children while preparing for unexpected circumstances.
@nobodybaechuu's Golden Rule: Communication and Clear Arrangements
According to @nobodybaechuu, the golden rule is to avoid comparisons and instead focus on clear communication. This means listing down all commitments, discussing arrangements openly, and planning ahead. The key is to maintain a mindset of joint responsibility rather than keeping a scorecard.
@IjatHazim's Perspective on Commitments: A Leader's Role and Mutual Support
@IjatHazim emphasizes that monthly commitments in a marriage aren't about seeking a fair split like roommates. Instead, he believes it's the husband's responsibility to lead and bear the initial financial burden. The wife's role, then, is to support wherever necessary, fostering a sense of partnership.
@fiqatakaful's Defined Expectations: Clear Division of Essential and Non-Essential Expenses
For @fiqatakaful, clarity is key even before marriage. She informs her husband of his obligatory contributions toward essentials like housing, food, and clothing. If funds are insufficient, she steps in to cover non-essential expenses like car loans, travel, and indulgent dining based on personal preferences.
@nabilamassudin's Evolving Roles: Adapting to Changing Commitments
In @nabilamassudin's case, her husband initially covered most expenses, including her car loan, despite a slight income difference. As commitments increased, roles evolved. Her husband now handles the house payments for their own home, while she contributes to the car expenses.
@SueIbrahim12's Fluid Approach: Weathering Financial Ups and Downs Together
@SueIbrahim12 highlights the fluidity of sharing responsibilities in marriage. During times of financial strain, she stepped up to cover all expenses, only to have her husband resume the role when he was back on his feet. This adaptable approach underscores the importance of supporting each other during challenging periods.
@mokisan_samin's Simplified Approach: Easygoing Financial Harmony
According to @mokisan_samin, the secret to a harmonious financial arrangement is simple: his wife's higher income means she covers all commitments, leaving him free of financial stress. Their approach showcases how financial dynamics can be shaped by individual circumstances.
@IziZira's Independent Approach: Empowering Personal Responsibility
@IziZira's perspective advocates for personal responsibility. She believes that each partner should manage their own commitments, arguing that if someone can make commitments, they should be capable of handling the related expenses. This viewpoint highlights the importance of independence within a partnership.
As these Malaysian voices reveal, the division of monthly commitments in relationships is a complex and nuanced matter. From phased transitions and clear communication to adaptive roles and personal responsibility, couples employ diverse strategies to create financial harmony and ensure a strong foundation for their marriages.