Parents aren't perfect, yes, but some really leave you thinking, "these folks shouldn't have been allowed to procreate in the first place!", by the way they're treating their children.
We've asked a couple of Malaysians, "When did you realize you had sh*tty parents?" and the answers were fairly disturbing. (Keep in mind that some of these stories might be a little heavy.)
After years of being in an unhappy marriage, my mom decided to call for divorce, which was good for her. However, after she was legally emancipated from my dad, she decided that she didn't want to be responsible for us, her own children, as we "were the cause and root of her sufferings" and left us to fend for ourselves. Mind you my siblings and I were still underaged at the time. Pretty fu*cked up to blame your children for what happened to you during your marriage.
"Things would have been so much better if you were dead!" was what my mom yelled at me in a fit of rage when I was 5. Never really recovered from that.
My parents separated when I was very young, and I stayed with my mom for a while after the divorce. One time, my mom went out on a date and didn't come home till very late at night. It wouldn't have been a problem if she hadn't taken the house keys with her or if there was food at home. I was starving, and couldn't go out. I texted my best friend about how hungry I was, and a while later her mom came over to hand me the food over the house gate.
For some reason, it was very humiliating for me.
The emotional manipulation and the guilt-tripping. Growing up, I was always shown, by the actions of my parents, that my needs weren't important, and that I was expected to do things at their convenience and unhealthy expectations. Being under constant pressure and the occasional comparison of how much better their friends' kids were doing compared to me, I realized I've grown up to be such an emotionally insecure person who's permanently incapable of thinking I'm good enough. The emotional damage man, don 't think I can ever heal.
M. Faiz, 29:
My mom had this thing where she'd constantly boast about donating to the poor, and she'd donate thousands monthly to local charities. Meanwhile, she wouldn't even spend a dime on me, her own kid. In high school, I 'd go months on end skipping lunch because my mom never gave me enough money. My parents are divorced and I was living with my mom, so my dad never found out. I guess my mom is the kind of person who thrives on external validation and didn't really care about the fact that she was neglecting my basic needs to live. As long as she could keep her angelic single mother image, I guess.
Syed Fatih, 33:
When I was very little, my dad was out of town a lot. I noticed my mom started taking my siblings and me along to visit her friend whenever my dad was out of town. Sometimes, we'd even sleep over at his house. It went on for about a few months and oddly enough, a couple of nosy neighbors started asking us about him. Fast forward to a couple of years later, that's when I realized my mom was actually cheating on my dad the whole time, and we unknowingly became her accomplice.
The childhood stage is indeed a very crucial period that'd either shape you or break you, depending on your upbringing. Children in troubling households often will have no choice but to grow up fast and be in survival mode at all times, while the normal ones are free to enjoy their childhood.
To adults who survived bad parents and are now trying their best to reparent themselves and heal their inner child, keep going. you deserve a life that your parents never gave you.
Got any horrible parents' stories? This is a completely safe space and feel free to share with us if you're comfortable!